Newsletter: September, 2000.

Running Mate seeks the support of TNA Class of '91

I wonder who is the favorite Presidential candidate of the Class of '91; is it George W Bush or Al Gore? Above all, who are going to be their respective running mates? Are you losing sleep over this issue? Well I am indeed very tense. Given a chance, I would not turn down a life-time offer to be the vice-President even if I am required to mortgage the whole of Hindustan, my Motherland, not to speak of Pakistan. US has scores of white male politicians(my rivals) who are willing to stand on stage at the national convention, hold hands with Al Gore and support gay rights. Some are even willing to listen to Bush talk about foreign policies and the future courses of diplomatic relations with new nuclear powers like India. Do I have the ability to condescend to this level just to be a running mate?

Some of the white females are willy too. Elizabeth Dole has learned the tricks of the trade from her husbend whose slogan in '96 was "Vote for Bob", "Victory for Bob" and "Viagra for Bob". I promise to distribute viagra free to all US citizens and to some close Indian friends of mine from the Class of '91. Can this gimmick draw the attention of my fellow americans and boost my popularity in opinion polls as a running mate? Not if O.J. Simpson is my opponent; hell no.

Bush is pro-life and I am pro-choice. It can draw tons of pro-fanity and so a Bush-Das ticket would be simply unstoppable. We love all profane four-letter words, don't we? They come from the very root of our evolution. Hollywood, after all, is surviving on these words and Bollywood is close on heels. I can speak all possible four letter words in all possible languages, a core quality which every politian should possess. It was after all none other than my idol Rajiv Gandhi who said "Teri nani ko yaad dila doonga". Profanity is here to stay as long as aspiring and learned running mates like me are around and I am ready to seek endorsement from anyone, be it Devilal or Phoolan Devi.

Does the Class of '91 consider me to be a potentially formidable running mate?

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